I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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