Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
