where am i from again
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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