everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
