Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
