My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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