Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
do nipples grow back?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
