pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
