Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
