Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
