Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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