wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
