that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
fuck your aforementioned shoe
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
As shirtless as possible
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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