just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
