if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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