Someone shit on the floor
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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