My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
