it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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