I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
