if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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