Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize