You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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