it hurts more in the daytime
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
