how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sext me about skeletons
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
