I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
