Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize