Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
