Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
