no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
