and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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