you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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