Screwed.edu
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
