Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
