I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
