My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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