not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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