if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
