Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
