I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
