I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
