Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
