So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
