omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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