it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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