And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
