Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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