We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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