U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
