This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
