Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
