Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
