you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
