it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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