Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The uberlube is also flammable
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
