You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
