from now on my penis is your penis
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize