Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
