I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
