Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
