just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
